Welcome to Tumblr.
Holy shit this is the most accurate post I have ever seen in my life
wait…this is a completely different gif set on my blog…
Reblog this and then check it on your Tumblr. Go on, do it.
omg HOW??
The last one… WTF?!
It CHANGED
(via yamiwhoo)
SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER.
GET SOME FRUIT.
BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT.
BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.
PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES.
NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER.
YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE?
TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.
I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER.
FUCK.
WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’
IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE.
TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.
(via rumblyinmatumb-lokid)
“omfg i want a gay best friend so we can go shopping!!!”
“when i have a kid i want them to be gay so i can ship them and their partner AND HAVE OTP FEELS!!! hahahhaah!!”
“TUMBLR SHOULD BE A COUNTRY SO WE CAN BAN HETEROSEXUALITY!!! XDDDDD”
(via rumblyinmatumb-lokid)
(via gekkouai)
IF YOU DON’T SHIP MY OTP I SWEAR TO GOD i’ll be okay with that
YOU DON’T LIKE MY FAVORITE THING, I’M GONNA respect the fact that you have your own taste
YOU DONT HAVE THE SAME OPINION AS ME, I SWEAR IM GONNA, respect the fact that you have your own brain and think differently to me
(via emilykjellberg)
One foot
ugh mums are so annoying ‘clean ur room take out the trash im worried about your mental health why is there a dead guy in the living room’ ha ha yeah ok whatever mum
(via monster-inthe-attic)
what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too
calm down satan
(via emilykjellberg)
acceptable pet names:
- babe
- baby
- sweetie
- cutie pie
- darling
- honey
unacceptable pet names:
- boo boo sweetie oojy woojy poogy poo
- cthulhu
- sweet devil prince in the pale moon light
- Leslie
- floor
- 2% milk
- Ella Fitzgerald
i think you have these mixed up
(via monster-inthe-attic)
